If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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