i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
