i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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