You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
