Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
