Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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