I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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