i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
