i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Blood and glitter go together right?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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