i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
