I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
