Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
