I can't watch pbs sober anymore
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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