WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
and she was petting her beer can
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
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