Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I would fuck him just for his dog
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize