Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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