You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So much rum. So many feels.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize