That's when you crack a 10am beer
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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