You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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