My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i think i have herpe
just one?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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