No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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