So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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