I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
