I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
