Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
