Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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