After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
