Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize