i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
