i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
