All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
