I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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