spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
