I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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