I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
