Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
