her vagine was all disorganized.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
