were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
