Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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