Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I skipped work to stalk him.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
