there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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