Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
