i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
