I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Houston, we have a blender
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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