she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
