i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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