hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize