Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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