Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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