would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
