i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
