i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we're chasing vodka with high fives
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize