Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
i out mim tonsoeep
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
