I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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