im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
