I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
