Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
