She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
