do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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