DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
