Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
