I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
