Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
