My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
